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Dear Abiola, I am a 39-year-old woman and still a virgin. Anyway, I’m turning 40 soon and don’t want to be the “40 Year Old Virgin.”This started out with me taking a chastity pledge on my 16th birthday.

I promised with a ring and everything in my church to be a virgin until I got married.

It would be great to have a clear understanding of Mike’s health status in addition to using condoms. It’s okay if you feel awkward, laugh, don’t laugh, have the best time or less than the best time. Don’t ever have any kind of sex just to “get it over with.” Your body, mind and spirit are involved so there is nothing casual about that.

Do it because this is what you would like to do at this time.

I’ve “made out” before like first base and second base. It is admirable that you wanted to wait for a committed, long term partner. There is no shame in being a 40-year-old virgin -- or not.

If this was still important for your own personal, spiritual, moral or ethical needs, I would tell you to continue to wait. Know that you are a woman in charge of her own body.

Based on your personal history, it’s smart that you are thinking of a friend as a safe person to move forward with.

I’m sure that after waiting so many years, you are feeling a large degree of anxiety and anticipation.

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Of those surveyed, 54% said men not being chatted up on nights out was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually. Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39!

A just-out survey - conducted by Crown Clinic Manchester — a hair transplant place, so I think we know where we’re going here — declares that men become sexually "invisible" to young women when they hit 39 years old. The same age as David Beckham, Russell Brand, Leonardo Di Caprio and many men I’ve got off buses to follow, such has been their appeal.

(I’ve never actually got off a bus* to follow a man. *Always cabs) The study says 52% of respondents believe that men lose their allure as they reach 40 — and 39 men are viewed as father figures rather than sex symbols (because no-one has ever wanted to f--- a father, right…? You and your active sperm) and the most obvious sign of this change (manopause?

You didn’t give details about Mike but just be clear upfront about expectations for both of you.

You wouldn’t want this situation to ruin your friendship. I see you happy, smiling and in the hot, healthy relationship of your dreams. RELATED: Intimacy Intervention: ‘He Cheated, Now I’m Always Dry Down There' Passionately yours, Abiola online school and web series over at Abiola TV.

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