If you meet someone who is a good fit for your children, great. Therefore, a decision to marry and form a blended family, for example, does not give back to children a missing parent, rather, it gives them a “stepparent” and a parenting team that is very different than the biological family system they were born into.
This is not to say that stepfamilies cannot be loving, healthy homes.
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To remain balanced in dating, give equal consideration to your needs and those of your children.
This myth believes that children raised in a single parent home have deficits that will be eradicated if they are instead raised in a two-parent stepfamily home.
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Single parents sometimes tell themselves that their happiness is at the center of their children’s happiness, therefore, “if I fall in love, my kids will be happy, too.” But the truth is there’s no guarantee that if you find romantic love it will improve the lives of your children, in fact, your happiness can bring unwanted transitions and, with it, unhappiness to your children.
Children can fare just as well—emotionally, spiritually, and developmentally—being raised in a single parent home as they can in a stepfamily home. Therefore, when it comes to the well-being of your children single parents should feel permission to stay single if they so choose. Of course, parents want to restore for their children an ideal family environment once thwarted by death or divorce, but alas, it cannot be.
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