Whether we admit it or not, physical attraction plays a large role in paving the way for love.We don’t like to look closely at this fact, especially inside the walls of the church where we hope to find less superficial dating criteria than one’s pant size, but the surplus of single, godly, intelligent plus-size women speaks to reality.Women, on the other hand, have narrowed down their lists primarily to non-negotiables: growing in the Lord, bathing regularly. When getting to know a guy, I like to hint at my weight loss journey (truly a lifelong battle — I remember being on a self-induced diet when I was only 8), because it seems the only kind of tolerable fat person is the one who’s not okay being fat, the one who despises it as much, if not more, than everyone else.
Markers of spiritual maturity, like depth of character or willingness to serve, should trump my above-average BMI, but rarely is that the case.I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning. I would love to pass my days maneuvering a minivan full of foster kids to soccer games and recitals and tutoring.None of these things would be diminished because of my size, yet none of them seem to matter because of my size.Part of this has to do with basic demographics of the church today: For men, it’s a buyer’s market.With the surplus of godly, talented, accomplished Christian women, men can afford to be pickier, holding tightly to standards of physical attraction, sense of humor, similar interests, all the way to taste in coffee. Here’s why we chose to give birth to black triplets.] And if you are overweight, you can’t remain that way.I see it in the faces of guys I’m meeting for the first time after being matched on e Harmony, even though we’ve exchanged weeks of witty banter and embarrassing confessions.