Frustrated with dating

Write down everyone with whom you’ve had a serious relationship. Under their name write down traits that describe him/her e.g. It’s a shock to your system to not be dealing with the drama and angst that you had grown so accustomed to.

unfaithful, self-absorbed, commitment-phobic, controlling, jealous, etc. You might even find yourself stirring the pot just to create the degree of intensity that you thrive on.

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It all boils down to what you experienced growing up, what your parents’ marriage and role modeling were like and what’s familiar and comfortable.

If you direct your frustration with women outwards, you may act aggressively and end up hurting them which will lead to feelings of guilt.

If you direct your frustration inwards, you may end up depressed and wondering why women avoid you.

We live in a culture that teaches us to avoid unpleasant feelings, and there are lots of ways to avoid feeling powerless: we can blame women, we can take drugs and alcohol, we can deny the problem exists, we can put on an act of bravado, we can act like a jerk or we can become overly self-reliant. Ultimately, we need to face the painful underlying issues behind it.

Ironically, the first step to overcoming frustration is to accept that we are powerless.


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