I don’t think I had the language or the structure to articulate what about it I didn’t like.So, that feeling, ended up being identified by my youth pastor and others as “sin.” I was told I had a sinful attitude when it came to the book and being pure.I would never have known Josh Harris’s name were it not for this book and his elevation based on it.Even though I didn’t see myself as his primary audience, I and others like me reaped the consequences of his work. I was always an avid book reader and since I took my evangelical faith so seriously, I wanted to learn all I could about dating.The approach Harris offered was a way forward that bypassed the physical possibilities.
Of course, it isn’t as simple as all that and, really, IKDG is revealing a method that cedes self-autonomy for what God and your parents want.
As a teen and young adult I knew some of the basic concepts of the book: you shouldn’t get involved with too many people because that means you’re cheating on your future spouse.
I first read IKDG when I was 15 and it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t have the words to put to that feeling.
It’s fostered the sort of shame that follows me into my relationship now, and it makes me angry at how dating or relationships without marriage as a pre-determined point, let alone sex or any kind of physical affection, were robbed of any joy for me.
It’s like a low level noise of distrust and anxiety that some would probably call the conviction of the Holy Spirit.