I’m also disabled so I’m dependent upon my as partner. Others outside the relationship not only disbelieve me but see my partner being an angel of mercy for caring for me. He didn’t ask how I was, talk to me, or even engage. He looked at me with wide-eyed innocence and asked, ‘What’s wrong with you? He just didn’t get it or understand why that had anything to do with him or why he had any responsibility there. I’m not a good wife for not ‘enduring.’ I understand that. It’s been 15 years and I am EXHAUSTED.” ♦ he aspie may not be able to help that he only sees things from his own perspective, due to his brain wiring. The most difficult thing I’ve had to endure is married life with someone who only worries only about himself and doesn’t even really know me or his children.
He just sat there, glazed over, and ate his food while playing computer games. This means, in my situation, that he will believe I am always wrong anytime we disagree. I can accept that it is pointless to try and share my perspective or ever reach mutual understanding.” ♦ here is zero desire to hear the other person’s perspective (of course). I am by far the main care giver and feel I have raised the kids on my own.” ♦ ow I realize that there must be many many exhausted, isolated, deeply sad women out there trying to cope with a very difficult situation alone, because so few understand.
Do we just name and shame them on a website so other women can avoid? I had to ‘train’ my spouse to reply to me when I tell him I love him. Yet I am the one that has to handle everything and there is never someone there to help me.
And what about the issue of being a man enough to confess you are an aspie, on the first or second date? This is a psych condition that badly hurts women like me, after all. For a long time I pushed aside my friends when it came to social outings since my husband always seemed so awkward at these events.
Five years of his aggression, lack of affection, constant criticism, put-downs, failure to even attempt to make the marriage work, even though I have begged him to come and see someone together. ” ♦ ast night, I sat on the edge of my bed and cried. It is so hard to describe what it feels like to be married to this. I asked for a sense of being accepted and validated by someone. Like not one person understood the exact nature of what I was experiencing, and this was so isolating. Raised two boys, ran the household, have taken on all the financial responsibilities of home loans car loans, everything.
I realized the marriage I had worked so hard on, was over. I just hope I can hold out long enough not to top myself before he moves out. I would have stayed and worked it out, so I thought, but by the end of the last two years and suffering a nervous breakdown I could not do it. I told myself yesterday that if I could make myself more like him, then maybe it would be better. This sense of isolation is intolerable to me.” ♦ ecently I heard a sermon on loving your enemies. ” ♦ e lacked empathy, and he didn’t understand why I expected him to be able to anticipate needs or intuit things. I home schooled my boys and have been severely emotionally and verbally abused by my husband who has both adhd and aspergers.
You people have no idea what it feels like to be on the receiving end of your so called “love”. To have another adult to talk to is worth more than anything.” ♦ fter 23 years of marriage to an AS husband who is a good provider and basically decent person, all I can say is “DON’T DO IT. You may love this person, but unless you also despise yourself, you need to leave the relationship as far behind you as possible.” ♦ y husband was diagnosed with Asperger’s a little over a year ago.
o not minimize the extent of my having been changed from a vivacious, sensual, happy, loving, athletic, healthy, wealthy, bright, articulate, fairly socially adept human to being melded and molded to accommodate an autistic adult into exactly the opposite of who I am for the sake of a one-sided relationship.” ♦ alking with my ex-husband is like smashing my head against a wall or drowning in a river. Find a healthy and well functioning partner or live with a dog.
We were not talking the same language and misunderstandings were the rule. What is even more horrifying and disabling for us is the requirement on our part to patiently endure being corrected, directed, criticized and often rudely spoken to regularly by our AS partners, sometimes constantly, as they work on forming us into more complete and tolerable partners for themselves, while we weather the torpedo blasts of rage and reaction they direct towards us if we suggest an imperfection in them. I think not.” ♦ itting in the kitchen in the evening, Harry was verbally cruel. Life will be far more rewarding.” ♦ dated someone who had Asperger’s syndrome and it led to me having a breakdown and suffering from severe depression.
My home is a bio-hazard because I am no longer physically able to clean, he is unwilling to clean and refuses to allow me to hire someone to help.
If you are considering marriage with an Asburger’s person, my recommendation, after having lived it for these many years, is to RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!